First up definition time:

Stagnation: a failure to develop, progress, or advance

Frustration: a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems

Those words about summarize everything right now. For those of you who know me well, I hate to not be the best at whatever I embark on. I wanted to learn to cook, so I learned to cook well. I'm not a chef, but I feed myself and my family quite well. I wanted to learn how to program in C#, so I got 4 certifications in it.

I hate when I get to position where I'm stuck, where I can't progress, or in other words when I stagnate. My previous job, I left cause I had reached the highest level I was ever going to reach, the level I was when I started. My current job, I'm not sure there's much more for me there. I'm not doing what I want to be doing long term, and any raise is going to be laughable next year with the rising costs of children, and family.

I have two kids, and would love to have more, I have an apartment and would love to buy a house next year. I'm stuck. I haven't taken a certification test, or even really prepared for one in months, I haven't gotten any better at Magic, maybe slightly, but nothing to really brag about. I'm stuck and it's frustrating.

I'm waiting for change, God promised change, but it seems like it's taking forever to get here, and it's exhausting. I sleep plenty, but the wait and let down of it not being here yet, when I'm constantly being asked about sucks.

I get asked about Bettis all the time, I hope to win that elusive 4th win out of 5 rounds, we get asked about "the brothers" all the time. The answer is I'd love to, but we can't yet.

I wish today was the day, but it's not, and so I'm suffering from a case of Stagnation Frustration.